Happy Monday y’all! Can we believe we’re already at the end of October? Seriously 2021 will be here before we know it. I wanted to round up my thoughts on living alone over the last few months in New York as we’re still going through the pandemic and I’ve received so many questions on the way New York is, whether people should come visit, etc.

Let me start by saying the last few months being back have taken a major toll on my mental health with all of the back and forth, but I do think it was something that was necessary to experience AND experience on my own. Let me also relay that I am easily one of the most temperamental, dramatic humans out there and while I’ve made great strides this year to find a more stable center I’ve learned that old habits can die hard and snap you back to where you used to be.

I also want to share that I used to heavily depend on the people in my life for everything possible from entertainment, venting, therapy, the whole nine yards. This year has been pretty rough on me altogether with how hard it is to keep in touch with people you spent every day with at some point or another, and being back in my own home reminds me of those times. I rounded up ten of my honest thoughts on living in New York City alone during a global pandemic and ways I’ve been getting by/things that have made me feel more sane throughout the couple of months.

1. It gets very lonely. This is a given, but I quickly learned once I got back that not everyone is available to spend every moment with you and it gets lonely fast (everyone needs human interaction!!). I call my friends way more often after having been in New York than I was in Houston – even if it’s just to have them on the phone while working for a little bit, it really helps.

2. It forces you to look at your self in a new light. While I have experienced every single emotion possible within the last few months from being alone, I have to say that I have more rationally looked at myself. If I feel sad, I allow myself to feel sad and then I pick myself up and go for a run and lift my serotonin and move forward. I’ve realized that I’m much stronger than I think and that if I just give myself a few days to recover from emotional turmoil it really helps me in the long run.

3. It’s best to keep busy but making plans is a job in itself. When I first got back I had so many projects to conquer that I got through relatively quickly. Then I had people I wanted to see and catch up with, but making plans isn’t as easy as it used to be. Not everyone wants/can go out on a weeknight and spend $60-$80 on a meal and drinks. Also not everyone is comfortable with everything right now, and most places do need reservations booked in advance.

4. The world right now is not the same and while New York is (so far for me) safe and fun, New York City is not the same New York City. I don’t walk around late at night unless I feel confident I’m in an area where I can get home quickly. Outdoor dining is great, but it’s not the same. Bars only having table service and raised prices/covid taxes isn’t the same (even if I saved a ton of money this year).

5. Being alone, you’re forced to feel your emotions at every point of the day rather than suppress or ignore. This has been the biggest struggle. When I was home I was always with my family so even if I would get down or feel upset I’d have Hudson or Orange Theory or SOMETHING to just do. I’ve found that being alone has heightened my emotions and it reminds me of February of this year when I was going through a rough time personally. Things that help me are going for long run/walks around the city for a few hours, going to Trader Joe’s (lol), and calling my mom.

6. It’s harder to separate work hours from life hours. I’m not sure what about being in New York is so different than the previous 6-7 months, but I rarely log off at 6pm and back on at 9am. It’s almost like I’m online round the clock because I don’t have much else to do other than move from my dining room to my living room once the work day ends.

7. Living alone, it’s common to not leave your apartment for days on end (and I’ve talked about this at length with people I know that live alone!!). Especially during week days, if I don’t have a reason to leave or if the weather is bad I just won’t head out. This literally makes you go crazy and feel confined – I’m trying to be better about daily walks just to get out.

8. Do things for YOURSELF as often as you can. Something I’ve been getting used to but also have been enjoying is treating myself – whether that be baking something, splurging on a bottle of wine that’s more costly, taking a ferry around to nowhere or walking by the water. It’s so important to do things for yourself, especially right now. My goal is to eventually go out to eat by myself in Murray Hill like I used to when I was an intern.

9. Being alone right now forces you to step out of your comfort zone whether that be reaching out to friends you aren’t as close with, doing things with people one-on-one or getting back out and dating new people. I used to have the same classic routine but I’ve been doing things with new or different people and it’s really helped. I’ve also had a lot of girls reach out from TiKTok that live in my area to get drinks or coffee, and have been networking with a ton of PR professionals with a similar lifestyle (thanks to TikTok).

10. And on that note, don’t be afraid to use social media as a means to meet new people!! Especially in New York, there are so many “day in a life” videos where I’ve learned people are publicists, work for beauty or fashion brands, and have so many similar interests as me. When I see someone is responsive to their followers I’m not afraid to ask them to link up. I’ve only met a handful of people, but this is seriously the best way to meet new people or make new friends right now (and yes, I’ve gone on a few dates with people I’ve met or reconnected with from social). It also adds to the schedule so that you’re constantly doing things with new people and it helps with the loneliness.

Whether you went back home and are with your family now, or are back in your apartment (roommates or no roommates), I don’t think anyone should ever feel alone! It’s been such a process for me to figure out what works best and I’m still learning my routine, but ultimately I’ve found that a consistent routine, daily work out, vent session with someone, and pictures of Hudson help me get through each day. I am exploring finding a virtual therapist under my insurance which should hopefully help even more, and that will be a big goal to carry into 2021.

I hope you all have a great day and thanks for reading! If you have any additional tips/thoughts, or just want to chat always feel free to shoot me a message on Instagram!